A Maker Whose Hands Aren’t Working

The waiting is the hardest part.

This grumpy cat is me. Just waiting and grumping.

But now I’ve got something new to worry about (just what I need). In case you missed this note, I’ve been dealing with constant numbness and tingling in my fingers for about two weeks now, very uncomfortable sensations that get even worse when I grasp or hold things in my hands… things like a paintbrush, for example.

I’ve been trying to take it easy, not overwork my hands, and not overstress my brain that’s having a hard time focusing right now. So I haven’t edited my most recent footage from France, or made the artsy craftsy tutorials I’ve been wanting to make. If you’re new here, welcome! You’re probably wondering what I’m babbling about. You can check out this tour of our very old French house to get a sense of what my husband, Patrick, and I are up to. We’re transforming an amazing townhouse in the Loire Valley into a creative workshop space, where we’ll be able to bring people together for unique art experiences - and of course, delicious French food & wine!

The very loose paintings I’ve managed to make with numb fingers

So anyway, I’m currently a maker whose hands aren’t working. The painting on the left was done as my hands were just starting to be constantly plagued with the pricklies. I was still able to make controlled lines and delicate details without my hands screaming at me. By the next day, those kinds of fine motor skills had become intensely painful. Drawing larger, simpler shapes and very loose lines, while taking frequent breaks to rest my fingers, was all I could manage. The other two paintings above are the result, which look strange to me, unrecognizable as my own work.

As an artist who loves capturing details and drawing with a fine tipped pen, it has been incredibly frustrating and sad for me. I’ve not been able to make the kind of art I want to make. I had been gaining momentum and hitting my stride with a comfortable ease, creating like this painting I made in November of last year:

“Mabel,” 5”x7” and still available on my website

After seeing my GP, who referred me to an orthopedic hand specialist, the unofficial non-diagnosis was “maybe it’s carpal tunnel syndrome, or maybe it’s nerve damage, which could be permanent.” YIKES. Not a fun thing to hear for someone who is constantly making things with their hands, and who also has a lot of anxiety. I typically draw and paint pretty much daily as my work, but I also rely on art making as my mediation and a therapeutic activity for said anxiety, so it’s been rough to not have that outlet.

Thankfully, just this morning, I got a real diagnosis - hallelujah! I had a Nerve Conduction Study done on my hands and arms that revealed carpal tunnel syndrome as the problem. Luckily there are no muscular issues, only the nerve sensations are being affected. This means that I can have a fairly simple surgery with a quick recovery and a very low likelihood of the nerve issues recurring. So hopefully it will only be a bit more waiting before I can have the surgery done, and then hopefully only a tiny bit more waiting after that until I have pain-free, working hands again!

I look forward to being able to draw floral bouquets again.

I feel strongly that making art, including doodling and coloring, is a very comforting activity that can promote peace of mind for everyone, even those who don’t consider themselves to be artists. To this end, I offer my subscribers free coloring sheets based on my art. In my last newsletter, I shared my peony bouquet as a free page to color with tips for more mindful coloring. You can grab that if you missed it, and level up your coloring game while enjoying some restful quiet time for yourself. Free subscribers will be able to snag a new coloring sheet each month. I’m also planning to do lots of Mini Meditations with simple art techniques that anyone can do, so be on the lookout for those.

Thank you for being here! If you liked this post, giving it a heart, sharing it or leaving me a comment will show your appreciation and make my newsletter easier for fellow Francophiles and art lovers to find. Merci beaucoup!

Paid subscribers enjoy a new coloring sheet each week, and this week’s page is based on that sweet grumpy cat I shared above. So if you’re currently a free subscriber and you’d like the download of that lovably grouchy little guy, along with all the other perks of being a paid subscriber, please upgrade for access to the coloring file below.